circus act life

I don't know what it was about today, but it was a rough to say the least.

On top of Sienna's awful night sleep & her usual wake ups every 3 hours. I was up from having nightmares...strange ones too. I think watching "American horror story" was a bad idea on top of History channels convincing doomsday shows, my anxiety has been through the roof with this 'end of the world' stuff.

Well anyway, the morning started off with Sienna asleep in our bed and me needing to get up to pump...but how do I wake a child who never wants to sleep in the first place? I would be crazy to...So I laid there feeling uncomfortable from my need to pump and waited for her to wake up

8'oclock she wakes up crying, not her usual smiling self pointing at me saying "mama"

I should have known right there and then it was going to be a rough day

I pick her up and her pjs were soaked, so were my bed sheets.  WONDERFUL. Never usually sleeping this late, her diaper didn't hold. Before I even get to pee and daydream about getting to brush my teeth...I change her and rush to pump. Now, I wish there was a hidden camera  in my house so I can show everyone (including my husband) what its like to pump with a mobile & clingy infant around....it could be mistaken for a circus act.

of course she refused to nap and I hadn't been able to get anything done except entertain her and I was failing miserably at that, she was fussy and tired but refused to go down. Every time I passed by the sink full of dishes and tower of dirty laundry I cringed. 


Days like these leave me second guessing myself,  its really difficult to know you're doing things right when the only person who can validate that is looking at you screaming her head off eventhough you are certain you did everything you possibly could.

The frustration got the best of me