Going out to eat with a baby

Though we try to cook atleast 5 nights a week, we are foodies and love going out! Sienna never makes these outings a breeze and its actually become more of a chore rather than a luxury to go out these days. 

It goes something like this:

•   walk in, look around and pray there is no wait. Tell the hostess "two and a highchair, please" or as Danny likes to say "two & a half"

• sit down, hand Sienna a menu & crayons while we settle in. She plays with them for a minute then throws them on the floor and points because she wants them back. We don't give them back because we know exactly what she'll do.

• waiter comes, we order our usual drinks: waters with lemon. I hand Sienna her sippy cup so she doesn't get jealous when we get our drinks. ( note to all waiters of the world: never put a glass in front of a baby, EVER! or plates) I learned this the hard way the first day I was a waitress. We encourage her to drink from her cup, she throws it on the floor.

• We order or food, quickly and start entertaining the princess. Snacks, fruit pouches, drink coasters...whatever non breakable item I can find on the table. Husband & I attempt to converse so its somewhat of a date

• Sienna decides to practice her joyful scream. Its like shes having a contest with herself  with how loud she can scream. We try to distract her, shushing her but it only causes her to try and break her personal screech record even more. Other moms give us empathetic smiles, some laugh, some stare. People of the world with no kids, please give us a break on this one. You will be here too one day when (and if) you have kids & you'll hope people are patient and don't give you a side-eye. And I promise I will be the mom giving the empathetic smile.

• By now Sienna makes it known shes over every snack we brought her, puffs are on the floor, blueberries are smushed all over the highchair. We look at the time and wonder why our food is taking an eternity even when its only been 10 mins.

• Our food arrives! YES! we immediately start cutting up whatever we ordered so she can start chowing down, if she approves that is. If not it will end up on the floor with the rest of her snacks. 

• We eat our food fast as we know she wont last too much longer in the high chair & we stare our waiter down to bring us the check

• we have our card ready and hand it right to the waiter as they bring the check. We get all things together, pick up some chunks of food off the floor and torture wipe Sienna's face off & hit the road!

OKAY, so its not always this bad but for the most part its a challenge to have a nice dinner out. I think we are beginning to accept the fact that going out is going to  have to be a get-a-babysitter-first type of occasion, which means we'll be getting more take out because we don't like leaving her often.

If you're reading this & have a toddler that is an angel during dinner & does none of the things listed above, then please leave a comment RIGHT THIS INSTANT and tell me your magic tricks and if your kid is just a perfect angel during dinner please dont tell me about it! in fact, nod your head and pretend you have an extremely strong willed, super active child to make me feel a little better. THANKS! Bon appetit.