Tuesday, March 27, 2012

2 weeks of lessons learned

My precious girl is 2 weeks old today!
Guess who has a cute little innie belly button? :o) When I went to change her diaper this morning I found her umbilical stump in her nightgown & this crazy sentimental Mamma is saving it. I'm happy she can now have real baths that she can actually enjoy...she despised the sling & it broke my heart having her scream during bath time.

I've been surprised at how good our little nugget has been. If you added up the total time she cries during the day it probably wouldn't even be 10 minutes, expect of course if its bath time. 

As much as I look forward to her getting older, and how much fun each new stage of her life is going to be, I cant stand the thought of my itsy bitsy girl getting big...I'm trying to soak up every second I can because I know one day I'll turn around and she'll be crawling.

After only two weeks of parenting, I definitely learned a few things...

1. Breast feeding really does get easier - In the first few days of learning this challenging new task...I was ready to throw in the towel...the only thing that kept me in the game was her benefit. The pain is nearly unbearable, Id say its pretty comparable to labor...yep, that bad. Id cry when it would get close to her next feeding, It was as if I had 2 little burning torches in my bra...Frustration doesn't even describe it, I felt like such a failure as a mother to not be able to provide the most important thing for her... two weeks later *poof* no pain at all, and we are both pros at it...I would have never thought.

2. Master doing things with one hand - my little babe isn't very fond of day time naps...she definitely does not get that from me..So making myself breakfast while holding miss curious, who just wants to look around has become a piece of cake after 2 weeks of practice

3. Take everyone's advice with a grain of salt - Its nice to have people who are willing to offer you advice, but what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another. A few mammas told me to stay away from pacifiers, I was warned that the baby wont want the boob because a paci causes nipple confusion...well guess what? Id be a very miserable lady if I listened to that advice. Sienna doesn't nap without a pacifier, its my life saver...& she never had any sort of confusion, she takes the bottle, boob and pacifier just fine without any issues.

two week old Sienna....

 loves the ceiling fan, she can stare at it for 10 minutes straight
eats 2oz every 2 to 3 hours
favorite time to pee is during diaper changes
loves to be swaddled
sucks on her fists when shes hungry

Monday, March 26, 2012

Sienna's Birth Story

It's been almost two weeks since the birth of our sweet girl, things are slowly settling down as we are working on establishing a routine, its been hard work but I decided to take the time to write the birth story while I still remember the little details of how I spent my 25th birthday in labor, as every mom out there knows there are no words that can begin to describe the feeling of the day you meet your child for the first time. 

Sienna's Birth has given me a new kind of appreciation for my own mother and all that she's endured for me to be here...Thank you Mom, now I know.

Warning: I have included every tedious detail in this story for my own memory's sake, I am aware that its lengthy and may be an overkill with all the pictures ( one being graphic)...but its my story, and here it goes:

  Friday, March 9th - Danny & I were watching a movie when I suddenly felt like I peed myself a little, hmmmm? well with all the strange changes brought on by pregnancy, I didn't find this all that surprising...kinda gross, but I brushed it off and we continued to watch the movie.

Saturday, March 10th - We woke up early,  I was excited about my mom & sister's arrival..we did some cleaning & food shopping & headed to the airport...My mom was glad Sienna held off making her grand entrance in hopes that she still had a chance of being here when she did decide to come meet us.

Sunday, March 11th - Beautiful day out! I was feeling so restless, I needed to be entertained because I was starting to hate the waiting game. We all decide to go to the park to walk in hopes of inducing labor & to take some photos..I kept thinking that they may just be my last belly shots as I could go into labor at any point....For dinner,  my sister made me eggplant parmigiana as its supposed to be a labor inducing food..it was yummy (thanks sis!) Later that evening as I was washing up for bed, there was a trickle of fluid down my leg..hmm? this again? We called my midwife, she told us that its probably just some discharge as there is more towards the end of the pregnancy. I couldn't sleep that night, I was up every hour with major anxiety.  I kept thinking could my water have broken? 

So happy my mom & sis flew out to welcome Sienna with us

Monday, March 12th - DUE DATE & OUR 25th BIRTHDAY! - I was so sad that Danny had to go to work on our birthday...in the 6 years we've been together, we always did something special on our day & we were never apart...I laid in bed for a while, I didn't wanna get up and start making too much noise as my mom & sis were sleeping in the room over. At around 6:50AM I get up to pee & to my surprise I lose my mucus plug. I immediately text Danny and of course he is super excited. I ran into our guest bedroom where my mom & sis were sleeping to tell them the news, they greet me with a half asleep "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" at that point, I forgot it was even my birthday.

Shortly after, my contractions did begin. Slowly, with very little pain so I wasn't sure if it was the real deal. I quickly download an app on my phone to time them since Danny wasn't there to fulfill that duty for me. They started off about 15 mins apart and tapered off for a few hours, then came back...that was the story for most of the morning, at around noon, I took the dog for a walk & called my doctors office & spoke to a midwife who I have never met before (g0 figure)...She said not to go to the hospital until I pretty much cant walk anymore due to pain...I didn't really like that advice very much and asked if I could come in to the office to get looked at by one of the midwives who I'm familiar with...she said there wasn't any openings till 2:30, which I was OK with because I wanted to give Danny enough time to get home from work so he can come with me.

2:00pm - Danny gets home & off we go, my contractions were fairly close together, but still not painful or steady. When we got to the doctors office I was given a stress test, sat there hooked up to a monitor listening to baby's heart...everything sounded great, My midwife then proceeded to check me and I couldn't believe what she had just said...

" you're 3cm, 80% effaced and your water is broken, you need to go to the hospital right now as we don't know how long your water has been broken for, I'm going to call them and tell them you're on your way"

WHAT!! are you serious?! we looked at each other in shock then scurried out of there very quickly, I don't think I ever got dressed quicker.. both of us were making calls on the drive back home...everyone was super excited, of course. We made it home and my mom made us lunch..I thought it was a good idea to eat before we left since we didn't know when my next meal would be, after that we gathered our stuff and headed to the hospital. I couldn't believe that all those tickles of fluid really was my water breaking, I thought its suppose to gush out at all once?

The last few hours of being pregnant was such a surreal feeling. I am about to say goodbye to my  baby bump and say hello to our much anticipated daughter.  

40 weeks!

Once we got to the hospital, my heart was racing...we checked in at around 4pm & I was immediately put on antibiotics to prevent infection since none knew how long my water had been broken for...after that we just sat & waited for contractions to get where they needed to be...the nurse told me that they cannot check my cervix as often as they usually would to minimize chance of infection, as this seemed to be the biggest issue...I was kind of bummed that I wouldn't be updated on my progress as often, but better to be safe than sorry.
Along with the antibiotics in my IV I was told I needed some  Oxytocin to get things moving, we really really didn't want any and decided to against it hoping things would happen on their own if we waited some more...well, after a few hours...contractions were still all over the place and we had to get the much dreaded pitocin  :(

Around 730...my mom & sisters arrive. They helped the time pass, joking around & keeping me company. After the pitocin, the contractions started picking up big time...my laughs soon turned to groans  as the pain & discomfort kicked in. I tried to manage the pain as best as I could without the epidural, knowing if I got it..it would for sure slow things down.

still smiling

the smiles soon turned to painful groans as contractions picked up

After a little while, I was running out of energy...dealing with the pain took a toll on me, how was I going to push with zero energy left? The contractions got so bad, I started to shake uncontrollably...it scared the crap out of me. I needed to relax but I couldn't even sit in bed. I was up walking around the room...exhausted...shaking..and on the verge of tears. Danny had ran out to get himself some food since we both knew we had a LONG night ahead of us, him gone made me freak out even more. I didn't want anyone touching me..or talking to me..I just needed to focus on breathing & trying to muster up some energy.

The nurse finally checked me, for the 1st time since the doctors office that afternoon and I was 5CM...I was so disappointed, all that pain and only 5cm?! how could that be? at that point I was just frustrated and asked for the epidural, I needed to rest & that was the only way I could. The epidural man, as I called him...was pretty busy, I was 3rd on a waiting list to get him...the wait seemed like an eternity. About 45 minutes he finally came, and boy was I relieved to see him...the needle going in my back, which I never thought Id be OK with...was nothing compared to the pain of contractions...I felt relief almost immediately, I was still able to feel my legs & contractions...just no pain....I was able to go to sleep. Danny slept on a chair, my mom & sisters squeezed on a pull out bed.

3:45 AM - I got woken up to be checked - FULLY DIALATED! the nurse had me to some 

"practice" pushes to see how I do...she said I push like a pro but it would be a while...she then called my midwife to come in.

6AM - My sweet midwife who I cant say enough good things about, came in even though she wasn't on call that day, but knew I really wanted her to deliver me. I am so humbled & forever grateful for her kindness to do that for me.

SUNNY SIDE UP SIENNA -  Not long after my midwife, Ramona got there... she realized little miss S was "face up" not the ideal position for a successful vaginal delivery. The majority of face up babies get stuck because their head cannot bend properly to fit though the pelvis. This put such a damper on the atmosphere in the room, I so badly wanted to experience natural labor & avoid a c-esction but it was beyond my control at that point. Ramona tried so hard to make Sienna turn, putting me in specific positions to push...on all fours...squatting...on a bar...anything and everything she could think of. 

Despite all of the effort & 6 hours of pushing in all different positions....my stubborn little girl wouldnt budge. We were so so close- It killed me, all that effort & nothing...her head was visible....it was right here!...but she was stuck in the same spot for hours, unable to come down....Danny was able to see her head & informed me that she had "cute hair." 

A Doctor was called in to asses the situation and give his input/2nd opinion on what to do next, I was beyond exhausted...I didn't have an ounce more of energy left in me to push anymore, but I would have found it somewhere if there was a way I was able to have her vaginally...I was swollen, as her head sat in the same spot for hours...I had an ice pack on my crotch in between pushes, I felt the pressure of every single contraction and was so worn out after being at it for all that time. I thought I was going to pass out....the don't call it " labor" for nothing. The Doctor then decided it was c-section time...I literary felt like I wasn't even human anymore at that point. Usually, women are only allowed to push for 3 hours, but since Siennas vitals were fine & she was responding well to everything...I was allowed to go longer & try to make it happen naturally.

12:20PM- I get wheeled off to the OR...I must have dozed off on my way there because I don't even remember them setting me up, I just remember looking up at the ridiculously bright light above me & them putting the blue curtain up....I freaked out at one point because Danny wasn't beside me, I kept asking for him...once he was allowed in the room, I knew it wasn't gonna be long...I had him talk to me to distract me & keep me awake. 

1:06PM - Danny looks over the curtain & at me with tears in his eyes and says " shes here, I see her" five seconds later...the much anticipated sound..her cry...at that point the three of us are crying.

I wasn't brave enough to look at this picture for a few days,
 now I find it amazing & I'm glad he took it.

They showed her to me real quick, I'll never forget that sight...even all covered in blood & gook she was the most amazing thing I've ever seen in my whole life. 

First family photo

I was overwhelmed with love, the feeling I had that moment is one I can barely describe. She looked up at me with her big eyes and I just could not believe that she was mine.

Although I didn't get to have a natural birth like I originally wanted, none of it mattered because at the end of it all I got EVERYTHING I ever wanted, and it didn't matter how I got it. She is perfect, healthy & mine.

swollen & exhausted,
 but couldn't be happier

us with our little belated birthday present & cake

cousins & future BFFs

Proud Daddy & Auntie

skin to skin

Auntie, Grandma & cousin

I hope one day, Sienna will read this & know just how much joy she brought us that very day

Happy Birthday Sweet baby girl,
we love you so very much.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Time changes everything.

Last year this time Danny & I were packing for our big birthday trip to Hawaii, this year we are packing for a hospital stay. Instead of hiking volcano craters, waterfalls - We may just be spending this birthday in the hospital getting the best present we could ever ask for.

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you :)

Hawaii - 3/12/11

Little things I look forward to with Sienna...

Top of the list of course... meeting her for the first time

Seeing Danny's reaction to seeing her
(I have a feeling hes gonna choke up)

Our first family trip 

the endless amounts of photos we'll be taking of her

taking walks around the neightborhood

her smiles & giggles that I know will melt us

weekend morning snuggles with Daddy

breastfeeding & knowing I'm giving her the best thing I can give her

Being her Mommy & loving her beyond words.

cannot wait!

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Random thoughts of the day...

This coming weekend could very well be the last one hubby & I have as a couple, the following one, we will be celebrating our 25th birthday-  possibly as a FAMILY of three.  

My Mom & sister fly in from NY that Saturday the 10th, so hopefully little Miss S will decide to grace us with her presence so Grandma & Auntie can meet her & give Danny & I the Birthday gift of a lifetime.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared to death of labor, I freak out about it at least once a day. I try to be optimistic but I think I may have seen too many horror stories...
Note to self : Google & YouTube are not a pregnant woman's best friend.
ever type in "episiotomy" in either of those? well, DON'T.

 My Hubby has been reading this book & scaring me with the possible side effects of the epidural, definitely not what I expected out of a read like this. The title of this book should be " how to scare the shit out of your husband & his pregnant wife"

As I experience the biggest event of my life...its interesting to see who is there for me sharing the ups & downs of it all... & who is choosing not to. Best way to test a friendship.

I really wish I knew how to forgive a certain someone for the very hurtful things they said, but I really cant find a place in my heart to do so... and I know I have to, I have been struggling with this for quite some time now.

I am humbled by the sweet group of ladies I've gotten to know through Instagram, They have been my outlet for any mommy-to-be questions I've ever had & have followed me though my whole journey, all are super excited for Sienna s arrival

You know you're at the end of your pregnancy when....

  • You find yourself Googling " natural ways to induce labor" ( I really don't want her going past her due date, or she will be to big for me to have her naturally)
  • Neighbors ask you " wow you're still pregnant?"
  • Rolling over in bed becomes a chore
  • You need 5 pillows to get comfortable in bed
  • Stretch mark creams are getting put to use a million times a day (so far so good)
  • Your husband gets crazy excited at the words "I think I may be having a contraction"
  • You go through rolls upon rolls of toilet paper - thanks to a 7lbs of pressure on your bladder
  • You have an app on your phone that times your contractions
  • You check your hospital bag all the time to make sure you haven't forgotten to pack anything
  • Your house is suddenly spotless all the time, nesting much?
  • Tums are your best friend, I have a stash in my night stand.