Labor #2 fears

As each day gets crossed off of my calendar inching closer to baby's due date, my stomach turns and I feel a swarm of butterflies inside of me.

I'm terrified of birth this time.
 I literally get a lump in my throat each and every time I think about it.

My labor with Sienna was not exactly peachy, infact it was everything but. I specifically remember a moment where I felt like I wasn't even human anymore...heck when I look back at photos I didn't even look human. Everything around me was a spinning blur in slowmotion, a mix of complete exhaustion and crushing  disappointment of not getting that "beautiful birth" experience most moms get to have. I begged anyone who assisted me to just please get her out. As I was getting wheeled into the OR for my c-section. I struggled to stay awake thinking I would pass out and never wake up.

this very photo describes the above paragraph perfectly, yes I felt as horrible as I looked.

 thankfully 20 mins after this was taken I got to see my baby girl and all was right in the world again.

My anxiety does not only stem from my previous experience but also from a few other fears...
1. I will be attempting a vbac, which has its own risks...but also so do c sections so I'm afraid of both
2. the fear of something happening to me and Sienna growing up without me
3. another c section....the recovery was brutal, now throw a toddler into the mix of a csection recovery.
4. Being away from Sienna...I know this may sound silly but I'm already having a hard time thinking about being in hospital away from her for more than a day...let alone 4 (in an instance of a cs)


I just feel so uneasy. 
Please pray that all goes well. 

Peach Picking

For my family, summer doesn't officially begin until we venture out to the local farm and pick some peaches. This week we did just that.

It was much more fun this year as we had a little silly participant involved in the picking, who by the way... came to the conclusion that peaches have butts...or as she said it "booties"

Any peach recipes you have found that are to die for? I plan on making some ice cream with them, cobbler & preserves…But I’m inclined to make some more desserts before summers over. How do you like your peaches best?

Happy (peachy!) weekend :)

xo

Jo

30 weeks with baby #2

 

Now that I am in the 30's (week wise), I feel like I have hit a major milestone. Only 10 more weeks or less.....please be a little less. 10 weeks sounds like an eternity when I think of my belly expanding for that amount of time and being pregnant right in the middle of summer in AZ. But it sounds like nothing when I think of all the things still left on my baby to-do list. It definitely seems close when I am working on things like pre registering at the hospital and booking a newborn photo session.

How Far Along:  7.5 months 

Baby's Size: Baby has been measuring a little ahead, hoping she evened out by now (big baby means less chance for my vbac to happen)

Maternity Clothes: no, just lots of dresses, stretchy tanks and belly band for shorts

Movement: Lots of movement! wayyyy more than Sienna. Makes me wonder if that means she'll be more active in general. Sienna moved mostly at night - this one DOES NOT stop all day. 

Sleep: So hard to get comfortable, I require 6 pillows these days to fall asleep

Symptoms: major heartburn

Food Aversions/Cravings:  Indian food - used to be my favorite

Best Moment this Week: Sienna trying to convince me that baby sister wants to come out of my belly already, I love that shes excited. Hopefully it lasts.

What I miss: Having energy, being able to maneuver easily, sleeping on my back and tummy.

What I am Looking Forward to: Seeing what this little lady looks like! I wonder if she'll be a lot like her sis or totally opposite

Chocolate Pots De Crème

I've been experimenting with a lot of 'healthier' dessert options lately, trying to avoid sugar as much as possible and with treats like this I don't miss it for a second. This has been one of my favorites so far, you don't really taste the nuts....so don't let that scare you away if you're not a fan. Its healthy and delicious - I promise!

Chocolate Pots De Creme (Vegan & Paleo)
Serves 4

Ingredients:

1/2 cup raw cashews, soaked 2 hours
1/2 cup almond milk (I used regular milk and it was fine too)
1/4 cup melted coconut oil
1/4 cup raw cacao powder or cocoa powder
1/4 cup maple syrup
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
Pinch of sea salt

Directions:

Drain and rinse the cashews well, discarding the soak water. Combine the soaked cashews, almond milk, melted coconut oil, cocoa powder, maple syrup, vanilla extract and salt in a high-speed blender ( I used my magic bullet), blend until completely smooth and creamy. Pour the mixture into 4 ramekins, and place in the fridge to chill until set, about 4 to 6 hours.

Serve chilled, with shaved chocolate on the top, if desired.

Potty trained!

As of last month Sienna has officially been potty trained!

With that said, I wanted to share with a few tips  that worked for us that may help make potty training simpler and less stressful for you and your toddler. 

• Normalize the idea of using the potty early. This is my biggest tip for you! Bring your child in the bathroom with you. Tell him what you are doing and why. Everyone needs to go potty. There should be no shame in it. We introduced Sienna to her potty at about 9 months, of course not pushing her to use it that young but just so she got familiar with it. 99% of the time she would go #2 after breakfast so I would sit her on it and we'd read books, most of the time she wound up going and Id make a huge celebration that she always loved and found hilarious.

• Don't be forceful especially when they show zero interest. They will at some point. We've made a few attempts when she was a little over 1, she was interested for a few days then wanted absolutely nothing to do with it, which was fine. We laid off and didn't push it until she showed interest herself. (you dont want to force it on them and scare them away from it)

• Have lots of naked time! (or at least pant-less time) Almost every mother I have spoken to say this was key in their training! Yes, there will be accidents, but thats how they'll learn. Right when Sienna turned 2 we got her undies, we let her pick them out herself and told her she was a big girl now (she was thrilled about this idea) which I think sparked her interest & made her decide "diapers were for babies" a month later....at 25 months she was 100% trained. When they have an accident in their undies, they feel it and dont like it all over their legs.... undies was key for us

• Just stay calm and don’t expect too much right away. It will save you a lot of headaches and battles. It can be frustrating at times, I know that....but you really need to muster up all the patience you can - it takes a lot of it. I had to remind myself of that as I would clean pee of our rugs and couches extremely frustrated and ready to throw in the towel. Thankfully it didn't last long and we put away our living room rug for the time being and put towels on the couches.

It was very random with Sienna I have to say, she's always had access to her potty and would use it on rare occasion since she's had it- absolutely nothing consistent till recently. One day last month she just became really interested and asked to go on it (my parents were in town visiting at the time so she liked showing off for them)....we praised the heck out of her when she did and shes been good from then on....of course there were some accidents along the way but for the most part it was just like something clicked and she was done with diapers. From that day on, we kept her in undies only and asked her if she needed to go very frequently...she would go often...even if there were only a few drops of pee it was still good practice.  #2 was on the other hand was a little harder...she was all about doing that privacy, even when she was in diapers she would go hide in the closet or behind a dining room chair, If i happened to walk in and at the time she was doing it she would cry and tell me to go away...so she hasn't been a fond of the idea of poop on the potty being a spectacle with me in the bathroom trying to assist her. So that part took some bribing...gummy snacks & mini ice cream cones....and more accidents in her undies than there were with pee...but after about 2 weeks she got it.

When we'd go out, we would constantly remind her shes in undies and ask her if she needed to go every several minutes, I'm sure it was quite annoying to her, it was even annoying to me asking her so often...but it just kept her from forgetting she wasn't in a diaper anymore and couldn't just go in her pants. She does still wear a diaper overnight, I don't really expect her to hold it in her sleep. Most days she wakes up with a dry diaper anyway, and I rather her not get woken up by wet sheets in the middle of the night.

At the end of the day, Potty training taught me a big major lesson in life and in motherhood. 

Listen to your child. Forget the books. Forget the experts. Forget what every other kid is doing. She isn't like every other kid, she is her own self.