Sometimes being a mom...

It is the hardest job that didn't require a resume, license or interview

Its the only job with no vacation days, sick days or mental health days

Its the only job that pays in love & tears

its the only job you would never trade for another

Motherhood

Sometimes its bliss

Sometimes it sucks

but it all makes life so worthwhile

Bliss mom moments....

when your kid will try new food

smile included

when they drift off to sleep

looking peaceful & and you just cant help but stare

Their 1st steps,

 watching them wobble around

moments like these

crappy mom moments...

when they're teething or whiny for no reason at all 

and nothing you do makes them happy

when they wont sleep turning you into a sleep deprived zombie mom

when you see perfectly behaved children in the grocery store as yours is being a nightmare

when they give you a hard time during diaper changes, as if dealing with the horrendous diaper smells wasn't hard enough

when the lovely meal you just made them ends up on the floor or fed to the dog

when they pull out handfuls of your hair that's already falling out like crazy

when they fall down and hurt themselves makes you wish kissing boo boos really did make them all better

Sometimes being a mom is the best patience & unconditional love lesson life can give.

Sofia & Sienna

I remember when Sienna was first born, I was so afraid of Sofia unintentionally hurting her. I wouldn't let her out of my sight whenever she was near Sienna. She was never jealous or mean just a little rough sometimes. Now, Sofia has become the sweetest, most affectionate little helper. One of my favorite things to do is watch them interact...they will for sure be best friends.

She has been saying the most darling things to her lately,  I just have to write them down before I forget. I think they will both one day enjoy looking back at this.

Sofia: I want a baby sister Sydney & Dylan have one (her little friends)

Me: well you have your cousin Sienna, shes like your little sister

Sofia: I want a sister that I can take home to play with- lets go to the store and buy one

Me: where do they sell baby sisters?

Sofia: I don't know...maybe Target

Sofia: baby Sienna just told me that she wants to go to the park, can we go?

Me: oh yeah? I didn't hear her say that

Sofia: she told me in my ear

Sofia: wow baby cousin you have teeth! you are just full of surprises arent you little baby

 (as she pats her on the head)

Sofia: where is baby Sienna? (when she first comes over)

Me: She's sleeping

Sofia (10 minutes later) - I think she's ready to wake up now she must really want to play with me

Sofia: come walk to me baby Sienna I will catch you if you fall down

(as she sticks her arms out)

got more cookies in there?

Family Vacation 2013....

Dan & I are super giddy about our 1st big trip as a family of three!

Since the 3 of us are celebrating our birthdays next month, this was our gift to eachother :)

With the business of party planning & excitement for Sienna's 1st birthday, we are not even thinking of ours! 

 We spent our 24th birthday in the beautiful Oahu, by far the most amazing place we've ever been to and we're so happy go back with our little munchkin!

because I'm reminiscing,

 here is a little picture flood

 

 

Our birthday dinner

 

                                                                     best and most fresh sushi ever!

 

I just hope no tsunamis this time :)

                                            

one track mind

right now I'm focused on all -things-1st-birthday

its though job I have - throwing a perfect enough party for a little girl who lights up my world in more way than I can even express!! lots of pressure on mama to make it turn out perfect, because that's what she deserves.

So in the midst of burning my fingers with hot glue guns, gluing birthday banners, perfecting cake frosting & preparing the house for a massive amounts of guests we managed to sneak in a cake smash/1st bday session, capturing these little milestones is so important to me as she wont remember a thing about her first birthday.

 I'm working on a time capsule box for her, that I'll share with you guys when I'm a little closer to being done with it.

Until then, back to all things 1st Birthday
3 weeks to go!

check out this party pooper

we tried to practice wearing the hat

I'll be lucky if she keeps this hat on for 5 mins at her party

Sienna's Party crafts

You Are My Sunshine 

Sienna's birthday party is giving me lots of opportunities to get my crafty on :) I really don't like buying things I can easily make, So for the past couple of months I've been working on her party decorations. This was my first project.

Scrap Piece of wood .50 at Home Depot

small tube of yellow & white paint $1 at Michaels

Stencils - free (make them yourself)

Scrapbook paper for flags .50

Final product!

Now, if you were to buy this somewhere ...you're looking at atleast 25 bux - (its pretty big). I spent maybe $4 if that and I love it more than any I've seen in the store!

Cant wait to show you guys the rest :)

 but you'll have to wait for the pics of the party

30 day shred

When they say 'the last 10lbs are the hardest to loose after having a baby' - THEY'RE NOT KIDDING! In the beginning the weight seemed to fall right off until I had about 15 more to go. Now that I'm no longer pumping, I decided to get on it hardcore! no more feeling self conscious about my belly pooch!

So I decided to try the 30 day shred as it has amazing reviews and Jillian promises to deliver results :) I'm currently on day 9 and shes kicking my butt! 

 I'll be posting progress pics soon!

I also whipped up a little pros & cons list for those of you considering trying it out

Pros:
---It's only about 25min.
---It's inexpensive ($7 for the video + cost of hand weights).
---It's challenging!

Cons:
---It gets boring after a while.
---Jillian gets ridiculously annoying at times.

Reliving a Nightmare

I'm going to share a story with you that I haven't really spoke about or told many people, as a matter of fact I tried to completely erase it from my mind as it haunts me to this day.

Here we go...

After our wedding, my parents & oldest sister flew back to Arizona with us to spend some more time together and since we had just gotten a house there was room for them to stay a while comfortably. The excitement of the trip, the wedding & just being together with the family had everyone in a wonderful mood....that quickly changed.

We got in the evening and the following morning my sister & Sofia came over. My mom was in my kitchen cooking something up as usual, Danny & my dad were out in Lowe's getting things to fix our sprinkler system and both my sisters, Sofia and I rushed upstairs to the computer to look at pictures from the wedding.

The weather in Arizona is perfect at the end of September so my parents slept with the window opened in the spare bedroom/office. The breeze was perfect.

Sofias favorite thing to do when she came over was to climb up on the window ledge and put on a dance show and she was doing just that, as we had our faces buried in the computer screen looking at photos.

She started tapping on the window which is a no no, so the 3 of us look up to tell her to stop and we witness possibly the most horrifying sight ever....

Since the window was opened, she was tapping on the screen which is barely attached....just popped in so it could be pushed out with no strength....it was so late to stop her

when we looked up...all we saw was her legs as she was falling out. It happened so fast, split second not giving us a chance to even react.. all we could do is scream at the top of our lungs...in fact we stood there and screamed for a good 20 seconds before even looking out the window with fear of what we may see.

I couldnt even run downstairs, I felt as if my legs were no longer working. Jello. 
I stood there screaming, then praying. My sister had ran down already and before she even made it out the front door, I heard Sofia cry. THANK GOD, she was crying. She was gonna be ok.  I got the steght to go downstairs, I ran outside and she was laying in my driveway...a little disoriented with some blood in her mouth.

I attempted to call 911 but I couldn't even tell them my address or my name...I could hardly talk

My neighbors ran over after hearing our screaming, and assured me she was gonna be ok. All I remember is him telling me over and over that his wife was a nurse and that crying means shes fine and to calm down. He took my phone helped me get an ambulance over. They arrived in under 5 minutes, a bunch of firetrucks what for I don't know and an ambulance.

Before they got there, my sister had brought her into the house and laid her on the couch. Thinking back now, that probably wasn't a smart move....When the EMTs arrived, about 10 of them surrounded Sofia and she was scared, I was hysterically crying along with her.

My other sister, had to get Sofias dad - he worked from home at the time (3 mins away) but had his phone off that day...go figure.

When they put her in the ambulance  they didn't allow me to sit in the back with her. Only one person was allowed. So I rode in the front, the EMT was so nice and was tried to calm me down. It was a long ride - my sister requested she be taken to Phoenix Childrens hospital....half hour minutes away.

They took her to get x-rays and she was looking at me crying wanting me to go with her....I couldn't because I was pregnant and that killed me. I wanted to be there for her. They had me sit in a room and wait, I almost went crazy

Moments after my Dad & Danny came running in. My dad was angry' 3 adults in a room and she falls out a window?!' IT WAS AN ACCIDENT DAD.

I started to get really upset again after that, as if I didn't feel horrible & guilty as it is. My dad was no help. The x-rays & exam was taking forever, I started to get really bad cramps....I thought I was going to have a miscarriage but I didn't know how to calm down. Danny literary dragged me out of that hospital and made me go home to lay down.

Sofia had a hairline fracture on her sternum, the doctors said she was very lucky. The blood in her mouth was from biting her tongue during the fall, she had one small bruise and came home that evening. My sisters truck in my driveway broke her fall we think, not sure because she was laying in the driveway...but its possible she bounced off the hood of the car first. 

this was that same day, 

we brought her new toys & thanked god she was ok, happy & laughing.

Since the accident, we replaced the windows throughout the house & put in child proof locks. No window upstairs can open more than five inches. I used to love my window ledge and I had big plans for it...I wanted to put a cushion & pillows make it all cute, now every time I look at it I'm reminded of that day...Sofia still remembers it too, sometimes she says to me "do you remember when I fell out your window and had to go to the hospital?" Yes Sofia, I remember thought I really would like to forget.

It took me 3 weeeks to type this, I kept having to stop. To think what could have happened kills me but I wanted to share this story so everyone know that things like this can happen and they only take a second. So please please please secure your windows!!

11 months

Happy 11 months our sweet Sienna!

I cant believe we are 1 month away from the BIG day...Your birthday, our birthday.

I wont sit here and get all sappy about it,  I'll be doing plenty of that in a month but I will say that watching you grow has been one of the best gifts in life, I cherish every single moment

But I have to say, when I took out your monthly stickers and seeing only 1 left made me sad. Your 1st Birthday photoshoot is scheduled and your party is under way...pinch me, I'll have a toddler next month.

What a turn around in your behavior from last month when I was contemplating you being an only child...yeah it was THAT bad. You were a little pest :) you're lucky you're so cute.

you know what you want, when you want it, and how you want it. Its gotta be your way or the highway.....(makes me really look forward to your teen years)

You started to take steps

so so close to full time walking!! we think it will happen by your 1st Birthday

2/11/13 - walked across her whole room (mama caught the last of it on video)

More Big Changes this month:

no more pumping for mama! means more time for us to play!

you finally started to like things other than blueberries,

 scarfing down chicken now! phew I thought you were going to be a fruitatarian

you've added new words to your vocabulary "Charlieeee" its soooooooooo cute! "HIIII" in a high pitched voice, I just about melt every time.

you despise diaper changes, or anything that requires laying down, this drives me bananas!! you cry like youre being tortued and try to hard to get up...this is especially a nightmare during a poopy diaper change.

you're obsessed with watching videos of yourself haha you hand me my phone and say "daj daj" (give me in Polish)

you love your little babydoll and carry it around with you often, yesterday you cried because I didn't let you take it in the bath

tooth #3 has finally showed itself! 

you got your bottom two - 8 months

lateral incisor - 10.5 months

where are those top two teeth lady?

 you look kinda silly with a sharp fang and no other top teeth

You still hate carseats, strollers, shopping carts - being constricted to one spot makes you go CRAZY, which makes our shopping ventures difficult. I hope this stage passes soon.

You're miss independent, you wanna do everything by yourself - If i try to help you open or do something, you push my hand away.

Your Daddy always randomly says to me "goddd I cant believe how gorgeous she is" and you sure are!

I love you SO much!!

-mamma

cant wait to celebrate the greatest day in one month

baby #2

First of all - No, this is NOT an announcement

That being said, we often get asked about our plans for baby #2

"when is Sienna going to have a brother or a sister?"

 Apparently its the question that comes up after the excitement of your first baby's arrival dies down a bit. I get it, people are curious by nature and babies are an exciting part of life.

So I wanted to share my thoughts on this subject.

Dan & I talk about it a lot, most often when we're on our daily walk or when we see a cute little family of 4 when we're out and about. We are very like-minded when it comes to raising children, discipline, ect but the question of when to have another is always the tricky subject for us.

You see Danny is ready- now now now! of course he is...he doesn't have to be pregnant, get fat, give birth, have his boobs fall off of pain, get up 30x a night. Me- not quite. I feel like I just started to feel like myself again, I stopped pumping, I'm loosing the last of my babyweight and I'm feeling good! But then I see a little itty bitty baby and I'm ready to sign myself up for all of the above again.

Ideal age gap - is there such thing? to me it seems like having them close in age is super hard when they're young but easier when they're older because they can play and entertain each other. My Midwife suggested 18 month gap,since the topic happened to come up at my 6 week postpartum appointment and I'm glad I asked, because she had a valid point. After having a c-section its best to give your body time to heal fully so that seemed like a logical gap to me. Getting pregnant when your 1st is under a year old seems crazy to me, because looking at Sienna, at this age shes still so dependent on me for everything...I just wouldn't even see it as fair to make her have to share me right now.

Sienna - I really want to enjoy her, every second of her. She's still a baby even if shes almost a toddler! Having another right now would take away some of my attention and time with her, and I'm just not ready to give that up yet.

Age - Dan & I will be 26 exactly a month from today, we're not getting any younger and we both want to be young, active parents that can psychically keep up with our kids. We all know kids have a lot of energy :) but its important to us, to be active and energetic with right along with them!

Fear - I have such a fear of something going wrong or having a miscarriage, I was SOO paranoid in the beginning of my pregnancy with Sienna and I think it stemed from my sisters two miscarriages, Seeing her go through that was rough. One of them was when I was about a month pregnant which meant our kids would have been a month apart.

Money - Before we had Sienna we analyzed this to the moon and back, it seemed like the responsible thing to do before bringing a child into the world. We wondered if we had 'enough' saved up and to be perfectly honest, you never feel like you have enough but what I learned is that having a baby actually doesn't cost that much and it just depends on what matters to you, for us the BIGGEST thing was not to ever have to put her in daycare so we make it work on one income. We just make sacrifices in some areas ( I don't buy clothes/shoes/bags as often as I used to) and those things lost significance to me now that not getting them as often doesn't even phase me. Can we financially take on another? absolutely.

Gender- Its assumed that we want a boy next. To be perfectly honest - I REALLLLY did want a boy for a while and hoped the next one would be a mini Danny, but then I think about how sweet it would be for Sienna to grow up with a little sister. So whatever we are blessed with, we'll be over the moon...just as long as its healthy!

My own little list of requirements

1. Sienna needs to be potty trained - I'm not changing 2 sets of diapers
2. She needs to sleep through the night - I'm not getting up for 2 kids
3. We need to take a nice vacation, just the three of us and enjoy being a family of three before we are four.
4. I need to be back to my pre pregnancy weight, which I'm really working on now - I don't want to have to loose 2 pregnancy's worth of weight
5. I would like Sienna to be over 2 years old


all things aside,
 whenever it happens we'll be ecstatic

Pregnancy Photobook

Shutterflys free photobook codes rock! This is my 2nd one and I'm waiting for another code to make a 3rd "Sienna's 1st year"

 Some of my IG gals asked me to share pics of the book, so here it is :)

8x8 hardcover

 

If anyone has a code they're not using, I'm your girl!

:)

Target Friend

Babies are the best way to make new friends, really!

The other week I was in target (of course I was, I may as well live there)

I'm digging through a pile of clearance stuff looking for Sienna's size and a sweet mom walks by us and we start chatting, you know the usual:

"oh how old is your baby?"

 "oh yours walks already? mine doesnt yet" 

blah blah

and there I am an hour later still standing in the baby section of Target exchanging info with this sweet new mama friend making play-date plans. I swear its like I've known this girl all my life, turns out we had the same midwife too...small world!

Sienna & her new BFF :)

losing the post baby bump!

This mama has been workin' on her fitness, eating clean and trying to get rid of this leftover baby bump... because a baby bump after baby is no longer cute.

Especially when my baby is 10 months old {*sniff*} and the scale is still screaming at me that I have 10 more pounds to go!

ideally 15 more, but the goal is 10 by March 12th  - f i v e  weeks to go!

I never really talked about my weight loss & gain on this blog. Weight is such a tricky subject that comes with judgement and sharp comments

Pre pregnancy I was around 93lbs...before you gasp remember that I'm hardly 5ft tall

I gained a whopping 42 lbs with Sienna

and I'm currently 108

Since I stopped pumping I feel the weight coming back on fast, since I'm no longer burning those extra calories so I knew I had to make some new changes.

Thanks to Pintrest I found some great fitness articles as well as a few healthy recipes that have inspired me to make the necessary changes in my life to become a healthier me. I will admit I'm having a very tough time giving up sweets, my biggest weakness! I think the key is just not to have any in the house, because if its there....I'll eat it.

cant wait to make these

Super skinny is not the goal.

I want to be Healthier and feel good

and I will  :)